Waiter, what is this fly doing in my soup? It would appear to be the backstroke, sir.

Ever noticed how similar a completely docile and nonvenomous insect looks to the vicious, would eat-your-face-as-soon-as-look-at-you, cousin of said harmless insect? Is that a nonvenomous Tarantula that just wants to hang out or a crazed Brazilian Wandering spider that picks fights with animals 100x bigger than it for fun?

If you're the kind of guy who doesn't bother killing the bug scaring your girlfriend/wife with a newspaper, but picks up the little guy and ushers him outside, this is the site for you. Because (1) it is nice to know that that 'little guy' isn't going to inject you with neurotoxin and turn you into a drooling idiot, and (2) the experts from WTB? don't really appreciate the unnecessary killing of insects, and if they found out you were whacking the little buggers semi-professionally they might not be completely honest with you if you ever ask, "is this thing crawling on my arm venomous?"

No. It is most definitely not going to bite you and require the doctors to wake you up from the coma to tell you that they had to amputate your arm, your face is permanently swelled up to that size, and your pubes have all fallen out.

What's that bug? (whatsthatbug.com)

I Believe In Evolution, Except For The Whole Triassic Period.

This much is clear to anyone with any background in modern thinking. We can look at the fossil record and trace many of our genetic traits back to ancient species. In fact, scientific reasoning can explain nearly every stage of life from the Big Bang to the present day. I say "nearly" because the period that scientists claim lasted from roughly 205 to 250 million years ago, commonly known as the Triassic period, was quite obviously the work of the Lord God Almighty.

Don't get me wrong: I'm not one of those religious nut cases who denies that evolution is real. Of course evolution is real, just not during the "Triassic period.

For a half-dozen million years, life advanced from prokaryotes to primitive fish to mammal-like reptiles via natural selection, and we're supposed to believe that that just continued happening? I don't think so. Isn't it much more likely that a formless, invisible deity intervened, temporarily stopped the course of evolution, and shaped each and every trilobite over a period of six days? Of course it is, at least to any objective observer.

So, if you follow my reasoning to its logical end, the only sound conclusion is that, at some point, God paused evolution and stepped in, made a few modifications, and boom! Pterosaurs.

I Believe In Evolution, Except For The Whole Triassic Period. (The Onion)

Of the seven dwarves, only Dopey had a shaven face.

Ever since prehistoric man first scraped a seashell across his cheek so prehistoric woman would let him dance cheek-to-cheek, shaving has been a part of the male experience. But even with today’s high-tech razors, lots of men still get nicks, cuts, and razor burn.

The perfect shave has three ingredients: a good razor, a good brush, and glycerin-based shaving cream. But the biggest difference between wetshaving and the way most guys shave today is the use of a shaving brush. A good badger-hair shaving brush is the single most important ingredient in getting the perfect shave -- if you change no part of your shaving routine except to add a good shaving brush to the mix, you’ll be astounded at how much better and more enjoyable your shaves become.

How to get that perfect shave. (MSNBC)

The thing is, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.

Anyone who has ever spent time in an office can appreciate this...and garner a little inspiration from it as well.


Cubicle War 2006. (Barats and Bereta)

Imagine if Tetris got drunk, knocked up Connect Four, and then ran out on her.

The bastard child from this relationship would be Blocky. This simple yet addictive and challenging game can get intense at times, but is fun and a classic time-waster. (Tip: play the game on mute for a more enjoyable experience.)

The Smilies are feeling blocked in and sad! Help them escape – and make them giggle – by clicking and dragging a rectangle with four like-colored corners. The larger the rectangle, the more Smilies you release. Turn a frown upside down with this fast-paced puzzle game.

Blocky. (Shockwave)

The secrets of the firefox. Have you ever seen it live, in its natural habitat? Now you can.

The most recent statistics seem to indicate that Firefox has reached a 15% market share in the browser battle. Now that may not seem like much, but considering the hold that IE had until the emergence of Firefox, it is quite amazing. The ability to customize the browser with add-ons has contributed greatly to its growth, but there is another customizable feature that far too many people are unaware of - about;config. Below you'll find some of the well known and not so well know tweaks/hacks that will improve your browsing experience

Type about:config in the address bar and press Enter, and you'll see all the settings currently enumerated in prefs.js, listed in alphabetical order. To narrow down the hundreds of configuration preferences to just the few you need, type a search term into the Filter: bar. (Click the Show All button or just clear the Filter: bar to get the full list back again.)

To edit a preference, double-click on the name and you'll be prompted for the new value. If you double-click on an entry that has a Boolean value, it'll just switch from true to false or vice versa; double-click again to revert to the original setting. Not all changes take effect immediately, so if you want to be absolutely certain a given change is in effect, be sure to close and reopen Firefox after making a change.

Hacking Firefox: The Secrets of about:config. (Computerworld)

Too bad Will ain't partying with Drama and Hef at the Playboy Mansion these days.

No More Kings: "Sweep the Leg" (sweeptheleg.com)

He saved Teri Hatcher with a rubber band when she was desperate, but not yet a housewife.

Give him a shoelace, a piece of bubblegum, a broken toothpick, a fish hook, and an empty matchbook and the next thing you know he'll be traveling to other worlds using wormholes and saving their moderately attractive 80s glam-haired women.

All Macgyver ever needs. (Neatorama)

Delta, Echo, Alpha, Foxtrot. Mike, Oscar, Romeo, Oscar, November.

People who are hard of hearing. A bad telephone or cellular connection. The person on the other end of the line is a flippin' moron. These are all reasons why when you rattle off a series of letters over the phone to spell a word no one ever seems to understand no matter how well you enunciate.

To solve this issue people use a phonetic alphabet (of sorts) to aid in conveying the information accurately. However, there isn't really a standard version of this being used by the general population. A phone call or exchange without phonetics usually turns into a game of Pictionary with one person shouting out random words that look nothing like what is actually being drawn.

How the hell did you get 'Spruce Goose' from that? It's a damn lawnmower! See, there is the motor and the handle. That? That is the grass being cut. What do you mean the grass looks like people? I don't see any arms and legs on the grass, do you? Have you been smoking grass, woman? Because you have to be high to think that was a damn plane. Yes I will be comfortable sleeping on the couch tonight, thank you!

Example: you are forced to spell your name out because the person on the other end can't get it right (moron). Hedey...I mean Hedley Lamarr turns into "Howard, eagle, domino, lettuce, easy, yellow. Loquacious, anteater, Mike, apple, Ringo, rutabaga". Sure, that makes sense in the flame engulfed asylum that is your head, but the other guy is probably a wee bit freaked out and very confused.

NATO has a phonetic alphabet that has been in use since 1956 that was designed for this purpose. The next time you're required to spell out a word over the phone try using the designations provided in this list. This way your friend will have his name spelled correctly on his trial issue of that magazine with the opaque wrapping on it - so there is no confusion when his wife grabs the mail.

NATO phonetic alphabet. (Wikipedia)

The biggest MELFF ever could be right next door. Where is your telescope when you need it?

Even by astronomical standards, Roger Angel thinks big. Angel, a leading astronomer at the University of Arizona, is proposing an enormous liquid-mirror telescope on the moon that could be hundreds of times more sensitive than the Hubble Space Telescope. Using a rotating dish of reflective liquid as its primary mirror, Angel's telescope would the largest ever built, and would permit astronomers to study the oldest and most distant objects in the universe, including the very first stars.

Angel dreams of a 100-meter mirror, which would be larger than two side-by-side football fields and would collect 1,736 times more light than the Hubble. Even a 20-meter instrument, which is more likely in the near term, would be 70 times more sensitive than the Hubble and could detect objects 100 times fainter than those that will be seen with the James Webb Space Telescope, a next-generation orbiting observatory scheduled for launch in 2013.

There are many advantages to building a deep-space telescope on the moon. A lunar LMT would be free from the atmospheric distortion that afflicts terrestrial telescopes of all kinds, and from the self-generated winds that produce troublesome waves in the largest earth-based LMTs. The light from the universe's most distant stars is intensely red-shifted, and the airless lunar deep-freeze would be ideal for infrared observation – as would a liquid mirror: While they perform as well as conventional mirrors at visible wavelengths, liquid mirrors do even better in the infrared.

Alas, the same low temperatures that would facilitate infrared observation would also turn mercury, the liquid used in terrestrial LMTs, into a solid. So the greatest technical challenge for Angel's team lies in finding reflective liquids with low freezing points and vapor pressures – liquids that would neither freeze nor evaporate into space. That task fell to Ermanno Borra, a physicist and liquid-mirror pioneer at Laval University in Quebec who first made the case for a lunar LMT in 1991. Recently, Borra has been experimenting with metal liquid-like films, or MELFFs, that reflect light as effectively as aluminum.

A plan to build a giant liquid telescope on the moon. (Wired)

Tip #1: Avoid disposable cameras held vertically.

My first love in photography when I first got my trusty old Minolta SLR as a teenager was landscapes. There’s something about getting out in nature with the challenge of capturing some of the amazing beauty that you see. Perhaps it fits with my personality type - but I loved the quietness and stillness of waiting for the perfect moment for the shot, scoping out an area for the best vantage point and then seeing the way that the light changed a scene over a few hours.

While I don’t get as much time as I’d like for landscape photography these days - I thought I’d jot down a few of the lessons that I learned in my early years of doing it.

Eleven tips for improving your landscape photography. (Digital Photography School)

Bob Sagat is still accepting funny home videos, even though the show is not on anymore.

America loves to shoot home movies of the non-Pam and Tommy Lee variety...and, lets be honest, of the Pam and Tommy Lee variety. Most computer systems and video cameras come with bundled software that may or may not suck. While I'm not the biggest Mac fan, they do include some very nice multimedia applications with their systems. However, if you're more than a once-in-a-while-to-resurrect-my-career kind of videographer, there are some excellent applications out there for you across all of the major operating systems (Windows, Mac, Linux).

If you're internet savvy you'll read the comments section below the list and find a few more worth checking out.

Free video editing software for all platforms. (tv.isg.si)

Good thing Minnesota is not seismically active.

Kinetic art movement device utilizing Tim Fort's extensive repertoire of impulse-transmission techniques, created with the magic of montage and incorporating a medley of sundry props, and constructed in the city of New York Mills, MN in August of 2005 #1

NYM Project Video. (revver)

Maual labor that was actually fun depending on the strength of the Yuan (¥).

Who among us didn't set out to dig to China when we were young? The bad news is that unless you grew up in Chile or Argentina you didn't stand a chance of actually ending up in China. Actually most of America's children would have drowned upon completing their task as they would have emerged in the middle of the Indian Ocean. Bummer.

Still, it is pretty cool that you can zoom in to the point that you can see your own back yard and find our where your epic project would have taken you. Once you've cleaned up after your big dig, try going for a walk.

Are you concerned about where you go to arrive if you dig a very deep straight infinite hole on Earth? Your problems are solved! Surf on the map, choose where you will dig your hole and click there. After this, click on "Dig here!" and you will see the place where, one day, you will (believe me) put your feet.

If I dig a very deep hole, where will I end up? (Tall Eye)

Now if Google could just tie my shoes for me.

Just replace "band" (keep the quotation marks) with a band or song of your choosing. We at TIBTP are not responsible for what you do once you have located Tiffany's I Think We're Alone Now.

Find songs and a full albums online. (Google)

The cat's in the craddle...with a crossbow.

You are a cat. With a bow and arrow, to which you are attached by a string. You must reach the target by launching yourself through a challenging 18-hole course. Don't even bother asking me about the scoring, because it doesn't make any sense; not because the directions are in Japanese, but because it is utter lunacy. Still fun and a good time waster.

Cat with Bow Golf. (dofi-blog)

Apparently God has a well stocked humidor.

Einstein postulated that gravity from matter bends space, like a bowling ball on a bed bends the mattress. Light will follow that bend in space the same way a marble rolled across the bed will curve from the bowling ball’s dip. If there is some massive object out there in space, and some galaxy beyond it, the light from the more distant galaxy will bend as it passes by the intervening material. We see that as a distortion in the shape of the galaxy. This is called gravitational lensing, and can be used to map out the location of dark matter. So even though we cannot see DM directly, we can see its effects.

This image is of the galaxy cluster CL0024+1652 (higher resolution version), a galactic city located a whopping 5 billion light years away. That means the light we see from this cluster left it five billion years ago, so we’re seeing this structure as it was when the Universe was just 2/3 its present age. Almost every small object in that image is a galaxy, and all of them are held sway by the cluster’s gravity, orbiting the center like bees flying around a beehive.

It has long been thought that every large object in the Universe is surrounded by a halo of dark matter — unseen, mysterious, yet profoundly influential in the life of normal matter. Dark matter (or just DM for short) gives off no light, and does not interact with normal matter directly– a cloud of it could pass right through you and you’d never know. But, like regular old matter, it has gravity, and that can betray its presence.

Hubble finds dark matter 'smoke ring'. (Bad Astronomy)

Be sure and stop by the gift shop as you leave. Thank you for visiting Death Valley.

This eerie glow over Death Valley is in danger. Scrolling right will show a spectacular view from one of the darkest places left in the continental United States: Death Valley, CA. The 360-degree full-sky panorama is a composite of 30 images taken two years ago in Racetrack Playa.

The image has been digitally processed and increasingly stretched at high altitudes to make it rectangular. In the foreground on the image right is an unusually placed rock that was pushed by high winds onto Racetrack Playa after a slick rain. In the background is a majestic night sky, featuring thousands of stars and many constellations.

The arch across the middle is the central band of our Milky Way Galaxy. Light pollution is threatening dark skies like this all across the US, and therefore the International Dark-Sky Association and the US National Parks Service are suggesting methods that can protect them.

A dark sky over Death Valley. (NASA)

Now that you can find North we recommend using Eva Marie Saint to find Northwest.

Which way is north? Whether you're lost in the woods or you're trying to install a sundial in your yard, you're bound to want to find true north from time to time, and chances are when the time comes you won't have a compass. What's more, even if you do have a compass, it will point to magnetic north, which, depending on your location in the world, can vary a great deal from true north. So what's an intrepid explorer to do? Read this article to find several different ways to find your way.

How to find true North without a compass. (wikiHow)

In related news: Charlton Heston admitted to mental care facility after breakdown.

Chimpanzees in Senegal have been observed making and using wooden spears to hunt other primates, according to a study in the journal Current Biology. Researchers documented 22 cases of chimps fashioning tools to jab at smaller primates sheltering in cavities of hollow branches or tree trunks.

The report's authors, Jill Pruetz and Paco Bertolani, said the finding could have implications for human evolution. Chimps had not been previously observed hunting other animals with tools.In the vast majority of cases, the chimps used the tools in the manner of a spear, not as probes. The researchers say they were using enough force to injure an animal that may have been hiding inside. However, they did not photograph the behavior, or capture it on film.

In one case, Pruetz and Bertolani, from the Leverhulme Centre for Human Evolutionary Studies in Cambridge, UK, witnessed a chimpanzee extract a bushbaby with a spear.

Chimpanzees hunt using spears. (BBC News)

Is there gonna be a film on this flight? I hope it's not 'Alive'.

CNET editor James Kim was traveling with his family in the Oregon wilderness when his car broke down, stranding them far from help. Kim eventually set out on foot to look for rescue. Days later authorities found his body. Would you have survived?

1. Could You Survive Being Stranded In Your Vehicle?
2. Pack List: Survival Equipment For Your Car Or Truck
3. The Outdoor Life Essential Survival Kit
4. Essential Skill: Don't Lose Your Head
5. Outdoor Life Guide To Survival Foods
6. Don't Get Lost! Four Tips That Could Save Your Life

Stranded In The Wilderness: The Outdoor Life Guide To Winter Survival. (Outdoor Life)

Not feeling well? Wussy.

I'm not looking to turn our readers into hypochondriacs, especially considering the reccomended treatment for any injuries I sustained as a youngster came in two forms. 1) Walk it off. 2) Rub some dirt on it. Despite the fact that I'm a firm believer in both of those sound pieces of medical advice, there are times when they might not be the best course of action.

We all experience aches, pains and ailments at some time or another. Many times we dismiss them as a sign of growing older. However, there are some symptoms that should not be ignored. So, before you swallow another antacid for that heartburn you think you have, or apply antibiotic ointment to a rash that may have popped up, read through this list of 50 common medical symptoms. If you have any of the symptoms listed, don’t just live with them – consider visiting your doctor.

How Understanding these 50 Medical Symptoms Can Keep You Healthier. (Healthline)

Is a cultural icon worth billions stalking me? Because that would be super.

Were you aware that you can type your residential phone number into Google and it will quickly and neatly display your [currently listed] name, address and a link to a Google Map of your address? I wasn't either.

Remove your phone number from Google Search. (Lifehacker)

Cats love to play with String Theory.

Not everyone finds Quantum Theory to be fascinating. Fewer still can explain it; and a minute percentage of those have both a blog and a sense of humor. Chad Orzel, author of Uncertain Principles, is a contributing member of this minority who has taken the time to break down and explain Quantum Theory to his dog...who can talk.

I'm sitting at the computer typing, when the dog bumps up against my legs. I look down, and she's sniffing the floor around my feet intently.
"What are you doing down there?"
"I'm looking for steak!" she says, wagging her tail hopefully.
"I'm pretty certain that there's no steak down there," I say. "I've never eaten steak at the computer, and I've certainly never dropped any on the floor."
"You did in some universe," she says, still sniffing.
I sigh. "I'm going to move the quantum physics books to a higher shelf, so you can't reach them."
"It won't matter. I've got Wikipedia."
"All right, what ridiculous theory has your silly little doggy brain come up with?"
"Well, it's possible that you would eat steak at the computer, yes?"
"I do eat steak, yes, and I sometimes eat at the computer, so sure."
"And if you were to eat steak at the computer, you'd probably drop some on the floor."
"I don't know about that..."
"Dude, I've seen you eat." Yes, the dog calls me "dude." There may be obedience classes in her future.
"All right, we'll allow the possibility."
"Therefore, it's possible that you dropped steak on the floor. And according to Everett's Many Worlds Interpretation of quantum mechanics, that means that you did drop steak on the floor. Which means I just need to find it."

Many Worlds. Many Treats. (scienceblogs.com)

Video vs. The Radio Star: Round 1

Some of what can be found on the Internet that is not porn comes in video form, and some of that non-porn might be worth saving. There are those who collect highlight reels from sporting events, humorous video clips, or home movies. Unfortunately there is not just one standard that is used by everyone (though there is a free cross-platform player that will play just about anything). That is where having a solid application to convert video between formats comes in handy.

Windows only: Convert nearly any video format to nearly any other video format with the aptly named Any Video Converter.

The program supports just about every video format known to man, including AVI, DivX, FLV, RM, and VOB. It also comes with output profiles for devices like the iPod and PSP, though you can easily create a custom profile with the audio and video specs of your choosing.

Download of the day: Any Video Converter. (Lifehacker)

Baby steps...untie your knots.

Growing up, I wasn't in the scouts so I never really learned most of these. However, my brother and I, in our youth, were extremely gifted at replicating the famed Gordian knot. Ultimately they always required the same solution Alexander took advantage of 2300 years ago to untie them as well. For those of you who want to understand the mechanics of the knots below, allowing you to tie and not be forced to break out a sword to untie the *@&!%# things, you'll appreciate this.

How to tie the 10 most useful knots. (motherearthnews.com)

LEGO Fundamentalists > LEGO Maniacs

Let's be honest, the Bible is a little boring and way to wordy. What it needs are illustrations. Not illustrations like the 80s animation style cartoons from the obscure religious channels one can find somewhere between the news channels and the Norwegian folk/speed metal music channels provided by the cable company. What the Bible really needs is to be illustrated using LEGOs, because, and lets be honest here, nothing says 'spreading the word of god' like using the shark from the LEGO pirates kit in a scene depicting Genesis 2:19-20.

The Brick Testament. (thebricktestament.com)

ZYXWVUTSRQPONMLKJIHGFEDCBA

If you've never stumbled across the greatness that is Modern Drunkard magazine then you're not doing it right. One cannot put a price on the education garnered through a subscription, or the wisdom imparted from perusing the web-based repository of knowledge. If you've ever lifted a glass, popped a cork, or opened a bottle this publication is your bible.

15. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she accepts, she still might not like you.
16. If she buys you a drink, she likes you.
17. If someone offers to buy you a drink, do not upgrade your liquor preference.
18. Always have a corkscrew in your house.
19. If you don't have a corkscrew, push the cork down into the bottle with a pen.
20. Drink one girly drink in public and you will forever be known as the guy who drinks girly drinks.

The 86 Rules of Boozing. (Modern Drunkard)

A metaphor walks into a bar...

Lets be honest, we all learned about similes, metaphors and analogies back before recess was replaced by study hall. That doesn't mean that everyone still remembers the differences all these years later.

Ever wonder how these literary devices are correctly applied? These immortal classics are about as good as they get:

He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

Metaphor, Simile and Analogy: What’s the Difference? (copyblogger.com)

The Internet: Beyond the Music

A. That song from that commercial...
Ever been walking around wondering what song was playing during that commercial where a talking Gecko and a duosyllabic duck shared a Miller High Life in the back of the new Ford F150 being driven by Victoria Secret models that you saw last night? Wonder no more.

Music from TV commercials. (songtitle.info)

B. You know that song that goes...
Can't remember the title, band, or lyrics of a song, but know how to hum a few bars of the refrain? That used to just get you weird looks from people when you asked them if they knew the tune. Now it might let you find the song you were looking for.

I don't know how it works, but it works.

Find that tune. (musiclens.de)

Incidentally, that song from the Saturn commercial you could swear you remember being sung by a couple of pink Muppets a decade or two ago - was.

El queso está viejo y pútrido. ¿Dónde está el sanitario?

What can learning a new language (or 20) do for you?

If a thoroughly average pasty white guy who only owns one shirt and still lives with his parents in Aurora, IL can land a beautiful exotic woman just by learning her language (and by having his own cable access television show purchased for big money and put on national television), then you'll be swimming in long legged female vocalists/bass players in no time for sure.

Learn a language for free. (fsi-language-courses.com)

Care to welcome our new zombie overlords?

Consider someone who has just died of a heart attack. His organs are intact, he hasn't lost blood. All that's happened is his heart has stopped beating—the definition of "clinical death"—and his brain has shut down to conserve oxygen. But what has actually died?

As recently as 1993, when Dr. Sherwin Nuland wrote the best seller "How We Die," the conventional answer was that it was his cells that had died. The patient couldn't be revived because the tissues of his brain and heart had suffered irreversible damage from lack of oxygen. This process was understood to begin after just four or five minutes. If the patient doesn't receive cardiopulmonary resuscitation within that time, and if his heart can't be restarted soon thereafter, he is unlikely to recover. That dogma went unquestioned until researchers actually looked at oxygen-starved heart cells under a microscope. What they saw amazed them, according to Dr. Lance Becker, an authority on emergency medicine at the University of Pennsylvania. "After one hour," he says, "we couldn't see evidence the cells had died.”

But if the cells are still alive, why can't doctors revive someone who has been dead for an hour? Because once the cells have been without oxygen for more than five minutes, they die when their oxygen supply is resumed.

The new science of resuscitation is changing the way doctors think about heart attacks-and death itself. (MSNBC)